Ever since I was little, I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. Even though the thought of having kids scared me to death as I started getting nieces and nephews, that dream never really changed. I knew that once I started having kids, I wanted to be home for them. As of this week, that dream has come true!
When I found out I was pregnant, I told Ryan I wanted to stay home. I hadn't been at my job for very long, and felt bad that I would have to leave it so soon. Ryan encouraged me to try the working mom thing, because he knew that I absolutely loved it, so I tried it.
I tried it for thirteen long weeks. I'll be honest, I've had a hard time bonding with my baby. Some days I feel like I'm the luckiest woman in the world to have such a beautiful little girl, but then the screaming starts and I feel like I'm going mad. So, in a sense, working made things a little easier. I got a break from baby. But that break came with a cost: no time for anything! Anytime not spent at work was pretty much devoted to feeding baby and pumping. I had no time for breakfast, barely had time to make dinner, and once baby was put to bed around 8, that left only about an hour before my bedtime, and most of the time I was too exhausted to do anything. This left me feeling very stressed most of the time.
I know this hasn't been going on very long, but I can already see a change. Yeah, I've spent most of my time cleaning so far, but hey, at least I actually have time for that now!
It was an incredibly hard decision to quite my job. I got to do what I loved so it didn't even seem like work, plus I worked with some amazing people, and we always laughed and had a good time. However, I know that this was the right decision to make based on how stress-free the last couple days have been. I don't know that it will always be that way, but for now, life is pretty good!
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